Introduction

A regular 1:1 meeting between an employee and a manager is a wonderful way to make sure that one of your most important work relationships is healthy and you’re in sync on key matters.

If you are not currently having these meetings, we highly recommend starting to do so. While it may not be the only solution to improving team performance and morale, it has a very proven track record. If you're facing challenges within your team, regular 1:1s should be your first course of action.

Regular 1:1 meetings are crucial for many reasons, but one that is often overlooked is the fact that humans are social beings who thrive on positive connections with others. Strong relationships are one of the most important predictors of happiness, and the relationship with our manager or employee is a key part of our work-life, making it one of the most obvious ones to invest in. Deep and meaningful relationships are best built in a confidential one-on-one setting where both parties can best show openness, vulnerability, trust and empathy. This is crucial for moving beyond the superficial level.

Top 8 Tips

Now that you’re hopefully convinced about having the meetings, let’s dive into our 8 best tips for getting the most out of them:

• Don’t make it a KPI/Goals review. A common pitfall in 1:1 meetings is that they become the manager’s review of the employee’s performance, typically with excessive focus on KPIs, OKRs etc. This drives the wrong dynamic in the meeting, and does not induce openness and transparency. Instead make the meeting about what the employee needs help on. Sometimes that will be KPIs and goals, but that should rarely be the primary focus of the meeting

• Prepare. We’re all busy at work, and 1:1s have a tendency to sneak up on us, giving us just a few minutes to quickly figure out what’s on top of our minds right now. The meeting is so much better if you spend 10 minutes with a calm and collected mindset beforehand reflecting more deeply on what’s important to talk about. The meeting is primarily a forum for helping the employee, therefore the employee should do the majority of the preparation (specifically proposing the agenda topics), the main preparation for the manager is to read through the topics proposed by the employee and to prepare feedback on those and in general.

• Give feedback both ways every time. Feedback is a gift you can use to make each other better, and build a stronger relationship, but it requires practice to do right. Focus on the action when you give feedback, not the person. Focus on your own perception. Stick to the 5:1 rule, 5 times as much positive as negative feedback. When you have to give negative feedback, make sure it’s never in anger, and remember that the goal is not to get the message delivered to your satisfaction, but to get it received in a way where it makes a difference. Negative feedback is hard! But once you figure it out you have one of the keys to personal growth

• Focus on building trust. Trust is the key currency in your relationship, the onus is on the manager to earn it. One of the best ways to accelerate trust in a relationship is to show vulnerability, be ready to share your own fears and dreams. The other side of the coin is to focus on empathy when trust is extended your way

• Embrace bad news. It’s easy to be upset about bad news as a passionate leader, it is also counterproductive. Make an effort to receive bad news in a composed and balanced way, and keep the focus in the conversation on how you can support the employee in handling the challenging situation.

• Be fully present. In today's world, we are constantly bombarded with distractions, many of which have a tendency to interrupt our conversations (hello, phone notifications!). To make the most of 1:1 meetings, it's best to put your phone away and take notes on paper rather than using a laptop, if you’re having the meeting on video, make sure the camera’s on and your computer is in focus mode. If you find that your 1:1s often take place in a busy calendar context, try doing a brief breathing or mindfulness exercise just prior to the meeting to ensure that you're calm and focused for the conversation that follows.

• Ask how the employee is doing, be specific, be helpful. Be curious about the employee’s wellbeing at every meeting, ask specific questions, e.g. “How is life at work on a scale from 1-5? What would it take to improve it?”. Now do your best to help and support the employee based on the answers.

• Always have the 1:1 as a recurring calendar appointment.  Don’t fall into the ad-hoc-trap. It should be at least bi-weekly, but in many cases weekly is better. If in doubt start on a weekly cadence, and as you get into the rhythm you can always decide to lower the frequency to bi-weekly. Do not lightly skip or reschedule, especially if you are the manager (ok, for the employee to occasionally cancel, if nothing important is on the agenda). A good duration for a 1:1 appointment is 45 minutes.

Writeflow Implementation

A simple way to do the housekeeping around 1:1 meetings is to have a shared document that forms the basis of the meeting notes:

1. Employee: Update the document with this week’s agenda

2. Manager: Review agenda and add input

3. Conduct the meeting

4. Save a PDF snapshot of the document, so you have the notes for posterity (next meeting you will edit the same document).

But why go through the manual hassle, when you can have Writeflow automate it: